That being said. You’ll no longer hear the horror stories of my long-ass commute, nor will you get to chuckle at the random things I experience with my trains, bus, and automobile adventures. Instead, I’d like to announce that I have cut my commute by 2 hours! I moved into manhattan, which means the only commuting I’m doing is either by walking, bus, train, or cab…

If you’d like to follow my random adventures as a NY’er trying to make it across town in time for work, then you’ve come to the right place! So thus, let us begin.

I have several commuting routes…

• One is simply walking. I work on the east side, and live on the west side. It’s about a 25-3o minute walk, depending on how I hit the lights… Or it can be upwards of about 40 if I dawdle or am wearing heels…

• Another is to hop on the cross-town bus, which I’ve recently found out about, and ride that to nearly right in front of my office door. Mind you, during rush hour, taking a cross town bus across one of the more crowded places of manhattan means that it takes about 40 minutes… but hey, I’m just sitting there… however, the memories of all that time on the bus commuting in and out of the city gives me shivers when I think about stepping up onto those daunting steps.

• A third way, and usually the one I take if I don’t walk, is via subway. It’s about a 6 minute walk to the subway station, then another 6 minutes through the subway station till I hit the actual train I want, then about 4 minutes on the train, and a block and a half at that point to my office. It’s quick, it’s painless, and when I’m running late, it’s the easiest thing to do.

• That brings us to the last way, by cab. Some may think this would be the easiest, but remember, I’m going from the extreme west side to the extreme east side, across manhattan at one of the most busiest times of day, in one of the most busiest sections of the entire US (not even the city, the US!) So… unless I’m really really really tired, I tend to not do this option, because taking a 30 minute cab ride, where most of it is spent in traffic, and I’m watching the fare hike up and up and up, means it’s a very grumpy morning for me.

This morning, I took the subway. It’s an interesting walk through the terminal, and then through the corridors that lead to the underground trains. I tend to walk fast, and it’s something that really irks me when I can’t get through the traffic of people that seem to pile up in front of me. Plus, I can’t stand when one of those preacher peeps steps out in front of you and tells you that you’re going to burn in hell if you don’t listen to him. Though, I do randomly get a kick out of the people that tell him to go to hell. Seems… counter intuitive, and yet at the same time, spot on.

Anyways. Nothing major to report on the commute this morning. I bopped my head to the rhythm of the music, (some great Kashmir by Led Zeppelin, then a little placebo and Beatles to round it out), played a little solitaire, and tried to psych myself up for a day of messaging, client reviews, and startups.

Let’s see what this afternoon, or tomorrow brings.

Last week, every day that I got into work or got home, I completely forgot to post… sooo… please note that almost the entire week was posted today… I had written down most of the commute last week, but had forgotten to post, so if you want to hear about my random adventures last week, check those out… except for Friday, which we’re just going to say was a pretty normal commute in, and I didn’t really commute out, was in the city too late.

So, let’s go back to today, Tuesday morning’s commute.

I had a book! I finished my book by Chuck Palahniuk last week, and this week I had a new one… it’s about the Salem witch trials, which is one of my most favorite themes to read about, and I was very excited to see that there’s a book written by a descendant of Elizabeth Proctor. It’s called “The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane” by Katherine Howe… and so far it’s great. I’ll let you know if it suits my commute as the week goes on. It’s a bit thin, so I fear I’ll finish it within two days or so of commuting.

Oh well. On a more happy note, I may not be writing about my hellish commute for much longer. But that’s not something I want to go into too much detail about. Let’s just say that peeps, if you could keep your fingers crossed, that would be much appreciated… anywhoo… back to my morning commute.

Yesterday I had off for President’s day, so not much of a commute… and last night it started snowing, and I feared the worst for my commute this morning… however, when I woke up and looked out the window, while the trees and bushes were covered with snow, the roads were that lovely wet sluggish looking black gray that macadam becomes when there’s a mix of salt and sand on them, and the snow is fighting to survive. So, I got up, got dressed, and walked out the door to find that while the roads were clear, my car was in fact not… So, about 10 minutes later, I was in my car, heat blaring, music blaring, and heading down the streets towards the bus-stop.

I think a lot of people decided to take the day off, because the traffic was very light, which made me happier, because clearing my car off wasn’t something I had factored into my morning endeavors. Needless to say, I made it to the bus-stop in such record time that I had enough time to stop in at the dunkin donuts and grabbed a coffee. As great as that sounds… it’s exceptionally difficult to sit on the bus, read, and hold a cup of coffee, all without trying not to touch the person sitting next to you, because, well, they keep itching.

That worries me… the lady kept itching her neck and back of her head… I kept thinking she had lice or something… and so far today, I haven’t itched, but it’s been freaking me out in the back of my mind….

That being said, the actual commute on the bus was rather boring. I read my book, balanced my coffee, and tried not to become infected by whatever the lady next to me was carrying.

When I got into the city, it was snowing very hard… and as I walked down into the subway, I realized that I had left my metro card at home… and I had also not brought any money, nor a credit card to get a new metro card… soooooo… I walked to work, in the snow as it came down hard…  I love walking in the snow… but not in the cold, when it’s whipping down between the buildings, and my hair is flying all over the place. The only time it was actually nice, was when I hit Bryant Park and walked slowly through the swirling white. It laid on the branches of the trees, and swirled my hair more daintily.

Thankfully I made it into the office, albeit laden with snow, without much difficulty. Now i’m just trying not to worry about the fact that it’s still snowing, and that could mean that when I get back to my car this evening, it could very well be under a lot of snow…

Arrival: 8:16am

I had to be at work early this morning so that I could get over to the client first thing, so I had to be up at 5:45am, and had to be out the door by 6:30… Because of the snow, there was also ice, and crappy drivers. My dad decided to drive me down to the bus stop because he has a 4-wheel drive vehicle, and I have a tiny Honda Civic (sports edition coupe mind you)… so fast little buggy, but crappy in the snow. Anyways, we made it down to the bus stop by 7am… I was hoping for the 7:30am bus… A little early right? The good part is that I was able to get on the 7am bus. The bad part was that meant I’d be into the city at 8am… now, I needed to be in early, but not this early!

With this in mind, I made it into the city in record time, so decided to walk to work… not really the best idea as you can see from this lovely picture, that would be the sidewalk on the side of Bryant Park.

So, as I picked my way, slowly down the sidewalk, at least I didn’t bite it, mind you, I did witness someone else slip and fall as if they were in a cartoon. I mean… slipped leg, and straight up into the air, hovered for a moment, and then came straight down on their bum. As much as I winced because I could tell it hurt, I also chuckled.

Is that the way the world is?

We laugh at the misfortunes of others? Maybe it’s just that their misfortune is perhaps different than mine, and we sort of laugh at the fact that all life is, is one big misfortune, where the minute we are born, is the same minute we begin to die.

What an amazing commute I had this morning… I got up from my bed, and padded over to my desk, and turned my computer on. No, I didn’t sleep at the office. Today we had a snowday, well, that’s not entirely true. Where I was at, there was a blizzard raging… so I couldn’t get into the city, and I ended up working from home. My evening commute was just as great, though I won’t get into that. All I know is that working from home meant that I felt like I had to double the amount of work, because I felt like I was proving myself… sooo… I go to work earlier, and left work later. The good thing was that I had absolutely no commute.

My father called me earlier today and told me I had to try to leave work early, because the blizzard was about to hit our house… it had already started to “snow shower” and he wanted me home safe and sound. I, on the other hand, had about ten million things I had to do, and didn’t think I’d get a chance to get out of the office earlier. Thankfully, I made it out at a normal time.

The guy playing the harp was back in the subway. I was quite happy to see him. Randomly, he’s kind of making my commute somewhat normal… as if it’s building some kind of familiarity to it.

I got on the subway, and leaned back in my plastic bucket seat. The scent of urine was strong, but it was somewhat overpowered by the smell of someone’s cheap cologne. I don’t even think anyone in the current subway car was actually wearing it… it just seemed to linger in the air, as if someone had just sprayed a jet of the toilet water, and then ducked off the train. The reason why I really remember these smells? Well… as soon as the subway left the station, we stopped dead… and stopped dead for a while… I sat in the damn subway for about 20 minutes. I watched the time tick away on my clock, and nearly bit a hole in the side of my cheek as I watched the last “quick” bus time leave, meaning I was stuck taking the 7pm, which stops everywhere. Finally, the subway lurched forward, and deposited us at our appropriate stops. I should have walked… Sure, I wouldn’t have made the bus that I wanted, but I would have at least of made the last quick bus…

The rest of the bus ride is inconsequential. It was quick, I was tired and annoyed, and I made it back to my car… eventually.

Hello traffic filled streets. Thanks to a lovely little police officer pulling someone over, everyone’s damn neck on the road became made of rubber and bounced to the right. No accident, no real problem, just people who had to see what was going on. Maybe it was a drug bust, maybe it was someone famous, or more likely, maybe it was just some poor schmuck who went a bit too fast, or sped through a yellow light as it became red. Whatever reason, I really doubt that by staring at the police officer’s blinking lights, you’re suddenly going to gain some kind of insight into your life, so… really people… let’s just keep moving on with our lives.

I got to the bus in time, thankfully, even though I watched time tick away slowly on the clock in my car. The bus came a couple of minutes after I parked my car, and grabbing my things, I piled out of the car and walked towards my chariot.

I’ve taken to calling the bus that now… random right? But I kind of want to believe that there’s something special in my life at this moment, since everything else is still going to pot. “Your chariot awaits my dear,” I can hear someone whisper in my ear as I walk across the cracked macadam and board the large gray steel contraption. As I walk on, and hand my ticket to the bus driver, I wonder in my head how many other people had done the same thing as I had just done… how many of them were alive now, how many dead? How many famous? How many dying to be famous? How many people with horrible illnesses, or got some illness from the exchange. I also think about a story my mom told me once about a psych class she took once, and they read a story about a bus driver who was such a nymphomaniac, that he would drive everywhere with a hat on his lap, and be jerking off the entire time. Ever since I started riding the bus, I take stock in where the driver’s hands are, and if there are any sorts of hats or anything on their laps. So far, haven’t seen any… though, even if I did, I’m not sure what I’d do… smile more crookedly perhaps?

When we arrived in Port Authority, we got stuck in a lovely line of buses…

Finally, I got off the bus, and looked outside. It was so blistery cold out, that I decided not to walk outside, and instead descended into the dirty walled in subway. As you walk down the passageway towards the 7 train from Port Authority (it’s a long corridor) there are these things on the ceiling beams… and I want to find out why they’re there. But, they say…

“Overslept”
“so tired”
“if late”
“I’ll get fired”
“Why bother?”
“Worth the pain?”
“Just go home”
“do it again.”

The very first time I saw them, I only saw one, “Why bother?” and it made me literally stop everything I was thinking about, and wonder… yeah, why bother? Fascinatingly enough, it took me for quite a while to read all of them consecutively. Anyone out there know why the ceiling says this?

Arrive: 10pm

I didn’t actually leave at 8pm. I left the office at around 5:30ish, but we went to have a couple of drinks after a somewhat stressful day. So, after downing 2 glasses of very bad, cheap wine, I made my way to port authority and hopped on the bus. When I got there, and asked, “Where’s the bus to the mall?” one of the employees there said, “That’s line, but I think he’s the last passenger.” I thought I had missed the bus. Freaked out, my eyes wide, he must have had himself a very nice little chuckle, cause he pointed at the next line and said, “Another one will be leaving from there shortly.” Thanks dear busman… for freaking me out… Remind me to pay you back sometime.

First, let me preface everything else I’m about to say: I hate the later buses… because we stop EVERYWHERE! Usually my bus stop is the first… on the later bus, it’s the last stop. On the bus, I didn’t read, I played Sudoku, and went onto twitter, but mostly, I people-watched… which I’ve found is very interesting to do on a bus. On this one in particular was a very loud and obnoxious, obviously drunk guy who sat in the front seat, leaning over the partition where the door opens. He was speaking to the driver. Now, I’ve always thought that being a bus driver kind of sucks in terms of communication. On one hand, the poor guy drives a bunch of sullen people to work every morning with little or no communication, but at the same time, he’s a bus driver, therefore, his job is not to talk to people… it’s to drive a bus down the road, and make sure that all passengers get into the city safely. At the moment on the bus though, all I wanted to do was throw something at the guy who was drunkenly berating the driver for his lane and speed decisions. Thankfully the driver didn’t pay him much notice. I wonder how often that happens to him… having some drunken asshole yelling at him on a late bus.

Thankfully the rest of the ride was somewhat uneventful, and I made it back to my car in pretty good shape. Ah, my poor car. All alone in the parking lot…

Thankfully, this morning was a rather unexciting commute into the city, and thankfully, somehow the commute was quicker than normal, though that may be because I left from a different area. The sun glare, however, was atrocious. There were 2 accidents due to sun glare (thankfully on the radio, it sounded as if people were not hurt, and it wasn’t on my way in, so no worrying about the accident getting in the way of my commute)

My car’s clock is 3 minutes fast. That’s mostly because I’m too lazy to fix it, but it’s really annoying when I’m trying to make a specific bus time, and I have to keep subtracting in my head as I drive down the road. I’ve never gotten along well with math, and since I’m not a morning person, having to do math that early in the morning is like torture. It’s great though, when I’m stuck in a bit of traffic, and I’m trying to not think about the fact that I only have 15 minutes to get to the bus stop, and then realize that I actually have 18 minutes. Something about those extra 3 minutes makes me smile a bit… of course, then the panic sets in as I realize that 3 minutes isn’t that big of a deal… however… 1 minute can mean you miss the bus, so… I’ll take my 3 random extra minutes that aren’t there, but are there at the same time.

HUZZAH! I had a book today! Thanks to remembering, I went to the book store on Saturday and bought a couple of books, so hopefully I’ll have something to read for the next 2 weeks. My book this morning was “Lullaby” by Chuck Palahniuk. It’s an interesting read so far about a culling song. I’ll let you know whether or not it’s a good commuting book. Finding a seat, I took out my book, opened it, and was happy to see that nobody was sitting next to me, at least not at first. I thought I was going to get away with any seat-companions, but then a guy flew onto the bus, and squatted himself next to me… I wouldn’t have minded, save for the fact that he had an interesting odor…now, thankfully it wasn’t body-odor, but it was more like he had showered in aftershave… Though, I think the best part was the fact that I kept sneezing and sneezing and sneezing… and he turned to me and said “Do you mind? I’m trying to sleep?” To which I responded. “No, I don’t mind… but it seems like I”m allergic to something within my immediate vicinity.” and then I smirked, and put my nose back in my book… which, of course, erupted almost immediately in a giant sneeze. I’ve got to remind myself not to lend this book to anyone, nobody deserves the grossness that’s probably on the pages.

The subway was COLD this morning! I kept my big down-jacket zipped up to my chin the entire time. Usually it’s kind of a range between chilly and sweaty, but this morning it was just so darn cold, even in the subway car. Ridiculous.

Oh well, the good news is that I’ve finally figured out the 7 train, and now it’s quicker for me to get from Port Authority to my office… and I only have to walk a half a block in the cold. Once it gets nicer out, I’m looking forward to walking all the way from Port Authority to the office… ought to be a nice walk.

Sorry, Meant to post this yesterday, but had a horribly hectic day in the office… so without further adieu, here is the tale of another horrendous commute.

This morning began relatively easily. Sure. I had to be up earlier than I normally do, because I needed to grab the earlier bus, but I was up, and ready quickly enough. My father drove me down to the bus stop, because I’m staying in the city this evening, so I can’t keep my car overnight at the mall parking lot. We got in the car, I turned on the music, and we bopped down the road, and then came to a screeching halt about 10 minutes later… Oh joy, oh rapture, Traffic. Now, traffic is usual for the earlier bus… but this wasn’t just traffic, this was accident traffic. We didn’t move at all for about 10 minutes, and I watched the time tick away, knowing that every moment we spent there waiting, was another that was going to put me past the time when the bus came. Then, my father looked at his gas gauge, and started getting worried… apparently he had filled up recently, and it looked as if the gas was just leaking out of his truck. So, I had 2 thoughts in my head. I’d either miss the bus due to traffic, or miss the bus because my dad’s truck was about to break down on the side of the road. Of course, with my mind, both scenarios caused me to miss the bus. I really wasn’t Miss Sally Sunshine this morning, quite the Debbie Downer. Oh well.

I did miss the bus, but thankfully there was another bus that came at 8:30, mind you, that’s my normal bus and get’s me into the office at 10am. I had been hoping to have some time in the morning before I had to jet over to the client for a regulatory review meeting, but that didn’t happen… what annoys me the most is that I really did try, and yet once again, my commute is the bane of my existence. Thankfully, tonight, I’ll be staying at a place that is within walking distance of my office, which means when I get up, if I don’t make it to work on time, it’s my own damn fault.

Once on the bus, we stopped at all the mundane little areas, and I once again looked at the bus-schedule, and it said only 1 extra stop after mine, so once again, I was confused. How do 5 stops equal 1 stop? Kind of ridiculous in my mind… I think these people ought to just get their own darn bus.

Wow. I’m in a cranky mood, aren’t I?

Anyways… We made it into the city at the normal time for that bus, which only made me more upset, but, whatever.

As I went to get off the bus, literally, inches from the door, the bus driver suddenly through up his arm, stopped me, and without saying anything, put his foot on the pedal, and revved forward. I, fell backward and bumped into the people behind me. I always imagined that in that situation we must look like a group of dominoes just ready to go toppling down. But, anyways, thanks darling bus driver for informing me that you were going to move up in the line… sure, you put your arm out to stop me, but a simple “hold on, we’re moving up” would have sufficed, and made my life a little less topsy turvy.

I hopped on the 7 subway. That morning, in particular, it smelt a bit more like urine than usual… always a lovely wake up call…

I ran into the client’s office, instead of my own, because I thought I was late to a regulatory meeting (hence why I had to leave so much earlier, and also why I was freaking out when I missed the earlier bus); however, it had gotten pushed back.

With all the traffic, the strange car trouble, the pushed back meeting… I really could have slept in that extra half hour… maybe I would have been a bit happier instead of the snarly self I was all day…

Read it and weep, 1 hour and 40 minutes! That’s like a new record. Especially since it took nearly 4 hours this morning! I left work, lit up a smoke, and made my way down 42nd street, bopping my head to the beat of my walking music, in particular, the song I had on was “Closer to the Edge” by 30 Seconds to Mars. Great song. I highly recommend it!

As I walked into the subway I found that the Harp guy was back. He sat strumming his harp and I momentarily shut off my music so that I could hear him. His plucking noises really worked with the beautiful huge Alice in Wonderland ad’s that were all around him. Made me fell, for just a moment that I wasn’t descending into the subway, but rather into the rabbit hole.

The subway pulled up just as I got onto the platform which annoyed me a bit, mostly because I have to walk to the end of it in order to get out at the right place when I hit the Times Square stop. Needless to say, I had to hop onto the train in the middle. There was a lovely brown substance on one of the seats, which I quickly avoided and moved down the train to lean against the pole and stare out the window. I always wondered why they even bothered having windows on a subway. It’s not like you can see anything out them, and for that which you can see, it’s basically rusted dirty walls illuminated by the sharp flash of sparks coming off the grinding metal beneath us.

Two things to note:
1. I finally got in a subway car that had english directions about the service changes. Although, I can’t really remember what they said.
2. I saw a very odd ad for Sprite, which at first glance looked like a beer ad. You tell me… if you only saw the green bottle, doesn’t this look like a  beer ad?

As I exited the subway, a man was shouting about God and Jesus and how much he’s saving us. That would have been somewhat normal, that is, until he said “GOD WAKES YOU UP EVERY MORNING!” I never knew that God lived in my alarm clock, and in all honesty, if he does… well… I can think of quite a few better things he could be doing with his time. Strangely enough, that thought brought to my mind the idea of Dumbledore on the cards in the chocolate frog boxes from Harry Potter… “He’s gone, where’d he go?” “You don’t expect him to hang around all day, he has a lot to do.”

I found it funny as I made my way with the crowd of people up the ramp, and towards Port Authority, that as people exited the turnstiles, they paid absolutely no notice to the fact that they said “no exit”. I of course, followed suit, and walked through one that said “no-exit” but that was mostly because I realized just before I walked through. I wonder how many other people went through, because like me, they didn’t realize until too late, and instead were just following someone random. This made me think about the first person who walked through there… what a thing to have in your repartee “The very first commuter” hehe.

Now, the subway is very deep under Port Authority, so there are a couple of escalators I have to go up, and I was a few minutes early, so instead of walking up them, I hung off to the right side, and let people walk past me. I think it’s been a while since I, myself, did this… and I found it a great spot to watch people’s feet. Odd, right? But try it some time… If you look straight, you almost are looking at an angle up, so as people walk past you, you don’t really see what they look like, but you get a very clear perception of their feet. As I ascended up the escalators I played a little game in my head, trying to match what I thought people looked like based on what was on their feet. I wasn’t very good at it… maybe I should do this more often.

Finally, I made it to the top of the Port Authority, and got into line with the rest of the schmucks, who like me were trudging in and out of the city from a distance. I never noticed it before, but the damn place rumbles from the weight of all the buses. It’s quite disconcerting. I’m just waiting for the time when I go up there and it suddenly falls apart.

Getting onto the bus is quite an ordeal. I looked around a bit as I waited for the couple of people in front of me to hand their ticket to the driver, and realized that it’s quite disgusting in there. There’s fumes, exhaust, smoke… I felt for a moment as if I was standing in a burning house without the fire… The fun part was that as I got onto the bus, I noticed that the man in front of me was taking out a copy of Harry Potter. The guy had to be like late 50′s. Made me smile… Harry Potter sure has a large range!

The rest of the commute was quite uneventful. I tweeted, played sudoku, and answered some work emails. I miss having a book. I need to get one. When I got back to my car, I saw how horribly I had parked. Mind you, this morning, I was pulling into a parking spot without seeing the lines… there was just snow… So made me giggle when I saw that my car was actually in 4 parking spaces all at the same time. Awesome parking job Ash, awesome.

Tomorrow I’m staying in the city, so there won’t be a “leaving NYC” blog, and the blog the next morning won’t have a commuting blog either. I’m kind of happy to get a slight respite from the commute.